Secret CIO

Secret CIO is in a maze of small twisty passages, all alike.

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By  Secret CIO Published  April 26, 2008

Secret CIO is in a maze of small twisty passages, all alike.

You are in an office, with a door in front of you. There is a desk and chair in the office. On the desk is a computer and a large amount of pending paperwork.

Open the door

The door is made of MDF and safety glass. You open it easily. You are in a large room with harsh neon strip lighting. At the far end of the room is a door. In the room are many desks with computers, occupied by groaning, semi-human creatures with translucent skin.

Say hello to the IT team

The creatures stare at you uncomprehendingly. Some of them attempt to operate the computers on the desks.

Cross room, open the door

You are in a corridor with many doors. The walls are lined with several fire extinguishers.

Open one of the doors

You open a door, and are confronted by the fearsome Head Of Finance Creature. The creature rises from its chair and advances towards you angrily, shouting "Budget overrun!"

Close the door and run away

You are back in the corridor. The Head Of Finance Creature follows you and attacks with its 'Budget Cuts' weapon, but misses.

Attack Head Of Finance with 'Meaningless Techno-jargon' weapon

You score 14 to hit, and do eight points of damage. The Head of Finance Creature retreats behind the door.

Open another door

You are in a large room with comfortable furnishings, a large desk, a large leather chair, and several plants. You are in the Big Boss's Lair. As you are standing in the room, you hear the door opening behind you.

Hide in the corner

You hide in the corner, but the door opens to reveal the Big Boss. He immediately sees you hiding in the corner, and attacks you with his 'Committee Meeting' weapon. He scores 19 to hit you, and causes 120 points of damage. You fall to the floor unconscious.

You awake some hours later in a room with a large table and many chairs. Many people are leaving the room. You try standing, but find yourself weighed down by massive amounts of new paperwork.

Hide paperwork behind plant

You hide the paperwork behind a plant, where you discover similar-looking paperwork, now yellowed with age.

Leave room

You leave the room. You find yourself in a dark corridor with many doors.

Open a door

You open the door. You find yourself in a large room with many desks with computers, and many strange looking creatures wearing ties. As you enter the room they stand and move towards you menacingly, asking questions about printer faults and viruses.

Run away from users

You try to leave the room, but find your way blocked by more creatures. One of them attacks you with its 'Slow Response Time' weapon, but you block this with your 'Service Desk Procedure' shield. More creatures attack with various weapons. Your fortitude begins to wane.

Drink potion 'Caffeinated Beverage of rejuvenation'

You drink the potion. Slowly the attacks subside and the creatures return to their desks.

Leave room, go to car park, get in car, drive home

You are at your home. You are confronted by the Brat Creature, which attacks you with its 'Annoying Questions' weapon, and scores a 16 to hit you, and causes seven points of damage. You feel your strength begin to wane.

Attack Brat with 'Homework Blade of Piercing' weapon

You attack and miss. You see your ally She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed approach, who attacks the Brat Creature with 'Threat of Violence', causing him to retreat.

Collapse in heap, and curse memory of Gary Gygax

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